koncupiscence

wow. i kind of can't believe that took all day. 8am to 8pm, start to finish.

so frank had a signing today down in san marcos (san diego-ish) to promote his vegan sneakers that fight cancer (see icon). while they're no converse, they still had their charm. the inside of the white shoes displayed drawings of a topless tattooed lady giving herself a breast exam, and the inside of the black ones had a dude's junk on it. i'll take the white ones, please! boys size 6! oh what's that? you're promoting an event that's going to draw primarily teen GIRLS and yet you carry no size smaller than a boys eight? WISE CALL, THAT ONE, WISE. guess i'll keep this 60 bucks and let someone else fight cancer for me.

aaaaanyhow. you never know with these sorts of events how many people will show, so i dragged

hearthisvoice out of the house too early for a sunday and we arrived around 11:30 (the signing was at 2:30). there were about five kids in line. /o\ so to kill time we tried to shop (see above), loitered in the nearby guitar center, and exhausted the mini-mall offerings within the first hour. so we got in the car and bailed in search of... idk, anything more appealing? and hooray, off in the distance i spotted OMICS!

we zoomed over, om nommed on all the pretty, and walked away a little poorer (or maybe richer, who's to say).

we finally agreed to line up about an hour before the 'event' and even made line-buddies with the girls next to us. there were maybe 50 kids in front of us? frank eventually arrived, apparently with his two pups (i missed all this), and the lolteenie freak-outs began.

hearthisvoice totally nailed which girl would end up in tears (high five!).

...but then i saw his stupid face and my lolteenie heart started racing, because you guys. YOU GUYS. that boy is fucking gorgeous. seriously, what an asshole for being so pretty.

and i was fine, totally fine! until we walked in the store with him directly in front of us, and goddamn my shaky hands. :(((((((((

SIGH SIGH IT WAS NO FUCKING USE DDDD: HOW OLD AM I UGH

DON'T ANSWER THAT

ESPECIALLY AT THIS PART

so earlier this week i wasn't sure what i'd have him sign. my leathermouth cd? maybe the vegan shoes i'll likely buy? something mcr, but what?

and lo, my action figures came earlier than expected. :D so yes, i brought my little ~~metal~~ plastic man, with a silver sharpie in hand, and figured i'd ask him to either sign or doodle something on the back, whatever he wanted.

so we're next and hearthisvoice goes up first. he tries signing her cd with his crappy silver pen but it's crappy and so i offer up mine. 'OH MUCH BETTER!' :DDDD

and then i walk up and hand him my mini-frank and he immediately takes it, chuckles and maybe says something like awesome because then i say 'yeah, but it doesn't have your tattoos.' he says he knows and grabs a sharpie, and (for a nano-second i think he's going to add them for me and i'm thinking YAY AWESOMESAUCE but instead...), IMMEDIATELY FUCKING GOES TO TOWN ALL OVER HIS FACE. DDDDD:DDDDD

BEFORE:

AND AFTER: THE FRANKIE SPECIAL, V 2.0

LOLOLOLOL.

i think i laughed and maybe said something like 'wow, okay!' idk idk, he said something about trying to give himself kiss make-up, and then i said, 'ahahaha and here i was just going to have you either sign or doodle on the back ahaha--' AND THEN HE STOPPED AND SAID OH OKAY! *FLIP SIGN DONE* ...oh. no, i didn't mean. okay. thanks!

AND THEN IT WAS PICTURE TIME HI ARM AROUND ME HI DON'T MIND THE EMBARRASSING TREMBLING OH GOD OH GOD HOW OLD AM I CHEEEEEEEESE :DDD

aaaaaaaaand scene.

we lolololed in the car for a bit over the ridiculousness of not just the last three minutes, but the fail!day in its entirety. and i realized frank completely covered the one thing i LOOOOVED about his mini-me: the most accurate action-figure eyebrows EVER in the history of action-figuring! they were perfect and beautiful and perfect (see BEFORE above)! but no matter, this AFTER version is pretty fucking sweet, too! IT IS TRULY A UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE NOW and i will treasure it for a long long while. thank you, frankie. <3

and then we drove home, ate some sea-kittens of the sea at wokano, and called it A Day. \o/

eta: hearthisvoice with the steady hand ftw!