koncupiscence

we had good times together, you and me, for over two years. that's probably bananas by most people's standards, but i get attached to things and don't easily let go. besides, LOOK AT YOUR LOVELY EVERYTHING: ( desktop, oct 2010 - dec 2012 )

today, though... today felt like a day to move on.

times, they are a'changing. ( jan 2013 + )

i know, who didn't see that coming, right? all i can say in my defense is that i can't help it! and it is what it is. and i'm (finally) okay with that.

here's to a new year. this one kind of sucked.

pedicone is out. i feel like i should be angry, but i'm just so confused about the whole thing, i can't seem to get there. mostly i just want to throw up and then cry a little.

what unsettles me most is the finality of frank's post. "We just want him out of our lives." i just keep thinking... i mean, i can't help but wonder, what the fuck happened?! because if it was just a bit of money, or some kind of 'misunderstanding,' i can see them getting upset and needing pedicone to leave the band, but to end EVERYTHING? to go from one of the best nights of their lives to never wanting anything to do with pedicone ever again. i just... i don't even know. what the fuck did he do. :|

and that there were police and confessions, and that frank TOLD us that. they don't tell us shit! usually. it's all so strange and out of character and... jesus, what the fuck happened.

i hate it when friendships end. like, hate hate hate. for me it's one of the worst things ever.

"We are heartbroken and sick to our stomachs over this entire situation."

same here, frank. obviously to a much lesser degree, because we weren't the ones he took advantage of, we weren't best friends with the dude, we didn't welcome him into our family (except how we did), but still. same here, frank.

;_;


eta: basically, this: i can't imagine them cutting off all ties, especially publicly like that, unless it was something really, REALLY bad. but i can't imagine pedicone knowingly doing something really, REALLY bad. so i just don't know what to think. i just feel sad. for everyone.

today was the slowest slow day at work. nobody came by, the phones hardly rang. tumbleweeds blew past our lot. but i didn't mind so much this afternoon because mcr was playing the reading festival today and there was going to be a 'livestream' of it. \o/

it was GLORIOUS! i mean, it was a crappy stream - jerky, jumpy, kept getting stuck - but it was a stream, so it was GLORIOUS! they wore their killjoys costumes! dewees was dressed as the mousekat! there was pyro! balloons! and a catwalk! and it was GLORIOUS.

until about 15 minutes into it when a customer showed up. AND STAYED. in the office with me. :| and wanted to chat. :| for over 30 minutes. :| i had to put on my happy face and listen to all his stories with interest and delight :D TELL ME MORE, SIR :D (but on the inside ;_; omg get the fuck ouuuuuuut). by the time he left it was over. OVAH. ;_______;

brian may from queen came out and played with them - we will rock you and then welcome to the black parade. *_* it was pretty epic, you guys. but i missed it. :( AH WELL. i shall wait for linkage. there MUST be video eventually. ( there is simply no other alternative. )


and with this entry i've managed to post every day since monday! mission almost complete. :D

it's hot as balls here (90 degrees INSIDE my house when i got home today D:), so i plan to spend some quality time with my a/c this weekend, and maybe see planet of the apes (free passes ftw). happy weekend-ing, kids. i really hope irene's bark is worse than her bite. ♥

and only a week late! but sadly, yep, that sounds about right. between work, the house, and that pesky need to sleep, my time has been, well, limited. ah well. here be lots of rambling. consider yourself warned.

( my tale of woe but with a happy ending )

so, onto the q&a recap. it's long (like i mentioned) and certainly not verbatim, but remembered and summed up as best i could. things are likely out of order, as well. and though they never mentioned it that night (they said video of the q&a was for archival purposes at the museum), rumor has it that it may show up some point on the grammy museum's website, so fingers crossed for that. and none of these pictures are mine - we were strictly forbidden - they were all stolen from the internet, like you do.

( q and a )

they wrapped up the event by having us line up to take group pictures with the band (us sitting on a couch, and the band behind us). as we walked in, we got to shake their hands and say hello, and then boom, they snapped our picture, and onto the next. we were given a signed copy of danger days on our way out (which is kind of amusing since i'm sure most, if not all, in this crowd already had a copy - or six).

a great night! i'm soooo grateful i was able to go, and that i met a new mcr!friend in the process. i really, really hope the video shows up somewhere sharable. frank was pure joy (i may be a little biased), and everyone should get to see that. no recap could do them justice.

ugh ugh ♥BAND♥

( blah blah about the line-up )

but whatever, MCR!! \:D/ they were GRATE. it was clear from the start that the majority of people were there for them that night. everyone (the fans and the band) seemed pretty happy and pumped. jen and i started the night off behind a WALL OF DUDES. srsly, in every direction we were pretty screwed - and we're not short (we're both about 5'7''ish)! thankfully, by the time we sauntered back up for the main event, we found the Sea of Frankie Fangirls who top out at about 5'5''. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. :D

favorite things:
+ RAY! we weren't on his side, but still had a great view of him, and his SMILE, man, it beams so brightly it's impossible to not smile right back. :D!
+ at one point ray came over to frank's side of the stage, to check in or whatever. when frank looked up and saw him standing there he immediately lit up and smiled SO BIG and then ray smiled back and gave him a thumbs up and frank nodded in return. S'ALL GOOD. ♥
+ GERARD. he wasn't as gloriously campy as he is sometimes, but he still fucking worked it. he's just a really great front-man. he's constantly on the move, going from one side of the stage to the other, and (i've mentioned this before, but) he has this WAY (lol way) of making you feel like he's looking right at you. i know he's not, but he really makes an effort to ~connect~ with the audience in that way. idk, but even jen felt that, and i've never talked to her about it before.
+ what i'm not fond of is them ending with cancer, bc 1) cancer, and 2) everyone, except for james and gerard, slip away without any sort of ceremony. i want to give them a proper send off with applause and heartfelt woo-hoos, but we're denied that. it bums me out. :(
+ but before cancer, gerard was taking a moment over by the drum set during the intro and trying to get his jacket back on. i couldn't make out what the issue was, but clearly he was having TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES, because eventually he was out of time and tossed it back to the ground with a shrug and this little embarrassed smirk as he walked toward the mic. it was kind of hilarious. but ever the professional, the smirk quickly disappeared and he put on his SRS BZNS face for the song.
+ OMG I ALMOST FORGET, GERARD WORE A NEW FUCKING SHIRT. i mean, not a new shirt (his iron maiden one, inside out), just not the skanky sleeveless one he hasn't taken off since september (or maybe earlier). i have an old school lolzy flip phone and it takes me like 5 MINUTES to type out the simplest of texts (which is why i don't concert twitter), but when i saw those sleeves, i was like HOLY SHIT, i need to tell the internet immediately. O_O

my favorite exchange came from the end of the night, talking with jen, when i found out that she bailed out of Frank Iero Sex Chicken almost immediately. "i'm sorry, but there is NOTHING SEXY about spitting up in the air and then catching it with YOUR HAIR when it comes back down. DDDDD:" ahahahahahahaha, okay. that's valid (but i'm still in /o\). "and then a second time he tried to swat it away with his hand when it came back down. better, but NO." yeahhhhhh (still in). her faces of horror were priceless. ♥

my pictures always come out blurry - THEY MOVE AROUND TOO MUCH! especially FRANK. the second i have it all lined up and in focus, zoom, he's spinning around and out of frame. :\ ah well. ( here's the least blurry of the bunch. )

...so, wait. what do you MEAN i won't be seeing them again until MAY 2011?!? ;_________;

LITERALLY SHAKING WITH GLEE

EVERYTHING IS JUST SO GODDAMNED BEAUTIFUL I WANT TO BASK FOREVER AND EVER

GERARD, UR BRAIN

MF♥

1. i finally get my house two weeks from today! the sellers will be OUT and i can run around and cartwheel through it and shake my booty in every room because it is mine mine MINE. can. not. wait. omg. understatement. :DDDDDD though it is a bit nerve-racking to think that i need to start the Big Remodel in ~~2 WEEKS~~ wah decisions gaLORE. but the sooner i get a move on, the sooner i get innnnnnn (which almost more importantly means ouuuuuuuuuut of the parents' house).

2. i saw RENT at the hollywood bowl twice last weekend. it was directed by neil patrick harris, which, you know, YAY. except... well... okay, look. i loved it. i will never not love rent. i sat there in UTTER GLEEEEEE friday night when mark started singing. i was almost quite literally bursting with song in my seat the entire night, bc RENT. ♥ the guys who played roger and angel were fantastic, and wayne brady as tom collins was surprisingly awesome. the A+++ performance of the show goes to nicole scherzinger of pussycat dolls fame. she was AMAZING as maureen. hilarious and refreshing! she made me hoot and holler during 'over the moon' and her 'love me or leave me' duet with joanne (the fabulous tracie thoms) was the showstopper of the night.

i should probably stop there (but i won't). :\ the stage production was too small for a venue like the bowl. i thought it would be much grander in scale so as to resonate with the thousands far, far away (like us, and we were only about half-way back!). it was a bit muddled and hard to follow at times (even for us veterans). mark, my favorite character, was just mediocre. and they left out one of my favorite bits (excuse me, oh i'm not, i'm just here, i don't have, i'm here with, mark. mark. i'm MARK.), but now i think it doesn't really matter, because this mark, eurgh. :\ they also left out the sex. no wet hot heat sweat etc. and no, vanessa hudgens does not make a good mimi. bless her heart for trying, but she has the voice and presence of a disney princess, or maybe stripper barbie, and lacks the grit and raw-ness needed for this role. ah, well. it took guts to get out there and try, so i commend the effort!

3. so this rumor that mcr might tour this fall? has me both ecstatic and frustrated. i pretty much haven't taken a vacation in almost two years anticipating and waiting for the tour that never came. and now when i'll be deep in house renovations and broker than broke, they might be all ~HEYYYY *JAZZ HANDS* ...harrumph.

4. sytycd finale tonight! but i find i'm just not as interested without billy in the mix anymore. and i LOVE kent (i have since day one!), but it's more fun to root for the underdog, you know? but i love kent, so... go, kent! i guess. even though it's obvious you'll win. but i do want you to. so... kent. yeah. rah. (i don't think this number made any sense.)

5. the weekend before last, i was in vegas seeing adam lambert. we stood outside in a wading pool, sandals tucked in our bags, enjoying the warm cool breeze, and he strutted around the stage above us in leather and glitter. not sure i could think of a better way to see adam in concert (oh, wait, there was a severe lack of boy kissing, NEEDS MOAR BOYKISSING). and i was pleasantly reminded of what an incredible voice adam has. sometimes i forget. i think it takes a backseat in my brain to all the glitz and glam and FEATHERS and cock-pants and your general gay, that i forget. that boy can SING. dayum.


in conclusion, i'm eating a salad with pistachio crusted goat cheese balls in it. ajdflajds heaven.

you guys. brian and bob still talk. and bob's wrists are apparently "Well enough to twist the throttle on his motorbike. Vrooom." if you know what he means and i think that you do (and it took wayyyyy too long for my brain to actually go there - i guess this is what grief does to a person). i don't know why it eases the pain of today, but it really, really does. it really helps. ♥

&otherotp;

you guys, they're just being the best my chemical romance that they can be. ♥____♥

i need this new album like you don't even know. or maybe you do. uuuuuugh.

i kind of need this video in my life always and forever. baby mcr, with the smiling and face-patting and hugging. srsly, neeeeeeeeeed. ♥

the problem is, i have le dumb when it comes to ripping things, or whatever. anyone know how to grab this? or maybe you already have it and want to share?? i would pretty much love your forever.

eta: wasoncedelight to the mother-fuckin' rescue! \o/

BRB, ROLLING AROUND IN EARLY DAYS.