hallo

[koncupiscence]

i'm posting every day this week! i'm just going to do it, damn it. i've no idea about what, but i'll figure it out.

like right now... um... how about a weekend wrap up.

saturday:
did a bit of gardening here at work (we have two sidewalk gardens and a planter box). then i spent the rest of the afternoon moving stuff into my new (to me) dresser! between craigslist and thrift stores, i've recently acquired a dresser, a desk, and a trundle bed for the guest room/office. shit's finally coming together. \o/ for the past two months i've been living with a good portion of my clothes still in bags on my bedroom floor, but this weekend they all found a home. ahhhhhhh, such a glorious feeling. saturday night i went out to dinner and then drinks for a friend's ex-girlfriend's birthday (yeah :|). due to her friends not understanding how bills work, and not wanting to make a stink on her birthday, i ended up spending an extra 20 bucks so the waiter didn't get the shaft. despite this nonsense, we had a pretty great time, and i re-discovered my love for bombay saphire. nommmmm.

sunday:
was meant to be equally as productive. i was going to garden at the house and then work on the desk/office where everything is still a giant pile of CHAOS. but instead i watched tv, bought a bunch of comic books, and re-read my LJ entries from 2006 - my last year in nyc. man, i really hated my job. i pretty much only posted about that and orlando bloom.


this week there needs to be grocery shopping and major cleaning, especially attacking that office. i have three weeks until K2 arrives and that room has to be habitable. right now it is a junk room/giant shoe closet. so much to do, but whatever, bc in less than a month we will be ON OUR WAY TO HAWAII! \o/ i've never been! i can't wait! bring me a mai tai! \o/


as for fandom content, i guess mcr might be releasing their third and final video of the killjoys trilogy this week? and i am having all the ridiculous emotions. i don't usually get like this. these things don't usually bother me. ghost of you video? whatever. blah blah mikey dies. it's not real. it's a video. they're 'acting.'

but with these videos? idkkkkk, i'm so emotionally invested in these characters. i've only watched the sing video maybe three times? it just UPSETS ME SO MUCH. some of those images are burned into my brain and make my heart want to cave in on itself (korse shooting gerard, FRANK CLOSING THE DOORS *WORST*). one of the guys described it as 'a suicide mission,' so i'm pretty sure that they're dead. if i felt confident that they weren't dead, i'd have no problem watching the damn video. but... i think gerard likes the idea of them sacrificing themselves for this little girl, for the greater good.

but me? my soul ABHORS that outcome, BECAUSE THEY'RE DEAD. AND NOW THEY CAN DO NOTHING TO HELP. IT'S OVER and it fucking blowwwwwwws. so i've clung to this little ball of hope that maybe they're not really dead dead (even though they totally are ;_;). i mean, plenty of fic-writers have figured out a way to make that happen, surely THEY CAN TOO. but, guys, what if they don't? ;_; i'm so scared to find out how it all ends... (not to mention the beloved fic that is waiting in the wings... waiting for this finale. my heart, it is doomed. ;_;)

i TOTALLY get that these are ridiculous feelings. it's not real! it's a VIDEO, not even a full length feature (where i have a history of not dealing with deaths well - mr. orange LIVES, GODDAMN IT). but... whatever. IT IS WHAT IT IS.

SO YAYE NEW VIDEO. excitement! trepidation! fearrrr. ;_;

Comments

[philosiraptors.livejournal.com]

okay so I swear I had other stuff to comment about but




mr. orange LIVES, GODDAMN IT


THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

WE DON'T SEE HIM DIE. YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME HE'S DEAD. help gets there JUST in time. it does. i know it. there is no alternative.

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Have they actually said what SONG yet??? I feel so out of the loop.

Also, HI!!! I was just thinking about you!! I sent you a text & everything. Glad the house is coming together!!!!!

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

looks to be 'only hope' (which only heightens my fear that they're DEAD ;_;).

i was thinking about you too! and that we should go out for potato tacos again, bc nommm.

one day (hopefully soon!) the house will be fit to show off! :D

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

Okay, yeah, that definitely sounds foreboding if that's the song. :/ I've actually only been able to watch Sing the once because, seriously, DNW Frank dying ever. So, yeah, you're not the only one with denial/death issues.

POTATO TACOS WOULD BE AWESOME!! Let's do it!

(Also, check my LJ from Sunday when you get a chance. I think there's a pic there that you'll find very relevant to your fannish interests...)

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!!! :D

tom hardy cuddles AND gawain??? unfair!

[azewewish.livejournal.com]

I thought about you SO much during the junket and the elevator ride!!! You would have loved it. :D

[drinkingstars.livejournal.com]

Can I ask you the stupidest question about Killjoys verse? Ugh I'll go to gmail it's too embarrassing.

[drinkingstars.livejournal.com]

Also HI! Next time we will try to announce we are coming your way and maybe we can come to your house! :D

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

heee, my house was A MESS this weekend; soooo unfit for company. :\

it's not often i have friends frolicking in the burbs! :D

[clarkward.livejournal.com]

HAWAIIIIIIIIIIII

i want to come to your house too please

[clarkward.livejournal.com]

i want to come to your house on WEDNESDAY or THURSDAY and cook you dinner!!

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

i would not say no to that! :D

[clarkward.livejournal.com]

YAY! I will email you!

[wasoncedelight.livejournal.com]

I am JUST BARELY resisting a getting lei'd joke about your impending Hawaii vacation. JUST BARELY. I am the twelvest.

And hi, I'm so far out of the loop I didn't even know about the new video, whaaaaaaaaat. I AM AFEARED, KRIT. I still get very emotional at the Sing video! But this: i think gerard likes the idea of them sacrificing themselves for this little girl, for the greater good? Ugggggh, I think you're right and while part of me is like, oh, of course, he totally would, the other part of me is all DON'T BE DEAD OMG. ;_______;

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

srsly, DON'T BE DEAD, DUDE. ;____;

as for the video, i've just seen a few mentions on LJ that it's supposed to be this week, but idk where they got their info, so, you know. *hands* i pretty much figure most people know more than i do lately, esp since i'm not yet on tumblr. i really have to get on that, too, bc MAN i am missing A LOT. :(

[wasoncedelight.livejournal.com]

I DO NOT ENJOY SEEING THEM DEAD OR DYING. (and seriously omg omg Frank closing the doors is the WORST EVER a;sldkjf)

Actually, I tell a lie. Someone on my flist did mention a video last week, I think? But it was all very vague. Certainly nothing about a release date or anything. But YAY VIDEO SOON MAYBE?

(Also I know I'm apparently missing everything ever by not being on tumblr, but I just do not understand anything about that site, including the appeal. /o\)

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

the worst THE WORST. i vividly remember thinking oh, thank god, he's going to make it out of there WHAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. ;_____; AND THEN: okay, at least ray will survi-- FUUUUUUUUUUUCK. >:( and then i needed several moments by myself with a box of tissues. it wasn't pretty and i kind of wanted to throw up.


my problem with tumblr is that it's mostly used for pictures and people can see my computer screen at work, so this creates ~a problem~ for me. i'll read fic, because from a distance it's just words on a screen. but i don't think there's any way to disguise close-ups of gerard's crotch or frank's sex faces. :(

[wasoncedelight.livejournal.com]

it wasn't pretty and i kind of wanted to throw up.

THIS THIS THIS. SO MANY TEARS. But everyone gets blasted and DIES, what else am I supposed to do with that?!

Hrm, yeah, that IS a problem. :( I wish people would crosspost stuff from tumblr to their LJs, but sigh, not holding my breath.

[tuesdaysgone.livejournal.com]

I can't even allow myself to think about the video. Like. I just. I am in a weird bubble of "this will either destroy me or blow me away. or possibly both." that it sounds like you are in too. And then I have to try to reconcile that with my own ideas about what's happening in the Killjoys verse. #sensitivewriterproblems

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

yes yes. yes. i'm kind of excited to see what they do with the next video, but it's all wrapped up in this overwhelming fear for what i epically do not want. i'm prepared to completely disregard it (like jk's epilogue) if needed. ;_;

ps, here's a secret: yours is the beloved fic i mentioned, which is basically CANON to me. and and and... i'm just so damn invested and worried that everything's about to fall apart. i can only imagine it's tenfold for you. ugh, group hug or something. ♥

[tuesdaysgone.livejournal.com]

Ughhhh, I can't tell you how much it makes me happy to hear that, especially today. STORY OF MY HEART AND SOUL. If it makes you feel better (worse? IDK) I have an entire TOTALLY SOLID, like, comic-book-worthy plot written out for the third part of the story - like, I'm impressed with me for it and would be perfectly happy writing it exactly like that and there's just this PART of me that (as I'm sure you can tell from the first two parts) is SO OBSESSED with canon and sticking to it and explaining it and DON'T DO SOMETHING I CAN'T FIND IT IN ME TO DEAL WITH, BOYS, OMGGGGGGG ;_________;

*LOTS OF GROUP HUGS*

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

i love it. love it love it LOVE IT. i kept meaning to go back and comment on part two, because it was SO GREAT and had so many fantastic details, but sometimes i get overwhelmed with what to say and i end up saying nothing. :\

(also, slightly hilarious side note. so, idk if you ever watched sex and the city, but there was this one episode where carrie got an email for the first time, and she actually sort of ducked behind her desk when it came in for fear that the person who emailed her could see her, lol. so here we are years later and i had JUST FINISHED reading part two and filled with unvoiced adoration for you and your work and i get an email from LJ saying that you friended me. o_O ngl, i totally had a moment of can she see me reading this?? spooky timing was spooky. :p)

I AM VERY GLAD TO KNOW YOU HAVE A BACK-UP PLAN. but yes, it's all the little canon bits that you make work so well (which actually make the videos MAKE MORE SENSE). maybe it can be a choose your own adventure ending! for happiness, press one, for despair press two. ;_;

*clingssss*

[tuesdaysgone.livejournal.com]

Hehehe. I think Julie told me to friend you one day because we were talking and because you were a comics-loving person and she thought we'd get along. So blame her for the psychic timing :DDD

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh right? I know I'll never be able to live with myself if I write a sad ending, TBH. It's just not me. But...yeah, i just can't think about it. Especially since I've convinced myself the video will come out in some kind of sneaky way TOMORROW because I am a crackpot and Gerard had THREE written on his arm the other night and I convinced myself it was a countdown.

[fleurdeliser.livejournal.com]

Me having psychic timing about something involving you? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?

#mindmeld

[berreh.livejournal.com]

You made so much progress this weekend! House stuff ftw.

Also I'm not in that fandom, but I can definitely relate to the feeling of NO I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS OUTCOME THX

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

why must they screw with our hearts like that? so. not. on.

there's a lot more to do, but each little step is slowly making my house more my home. :D

[kiltsandlollies.livejournal.com]

HOUSE HOUSE HOUSE. :D And it seems to me like you balanced the weekend hella well. *nod*

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

i've been on such a GO GO GO schedule, that i kept feeling like i was wasting the day. but on the other hand... i make my own schedule now, so fuck it! *lounges* there is always next weekend.

[fleurdeliser.livejournal.com]

HAWAII! \o/ :D :D :D :D :D

I am just *HANDS* over the eminent release of the video. At this point, I think I just want to KNOW, you know?

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

there will be beaches! and cocktails on beaches! this is pretty much all i have planned so far, and i am okay with that! :D

yeah. if it's going to happen soon, let's just get on with it, i suppose. i really hope it gets released in the evening, though. i don't think i could handle watching it at work. ;_;

[morebliss.livejournal.com]

Yum bombay saphire! I have a feeling I might need a bottle on hand when the video comes out. We can cling to each other and weep. ♥______;

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

i am somehow misplaced my love for gin & tonics. HOW SILLY OF ME.

all appendages crossed for an ending that doesn't leave us heartbroken and distraught! ♥

[bunniewabbit.livejournal.com]

You are not alone in your feelings about the video(s). I don't want it all to just be one big downer! Didn't I read somewhere that the last video would be the Killjoys equivalent of "Return of the Jedi"? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

Also, I had assumed the song would be "Kids from Yesterday," since that was their most recently announced single, but I have no other basis for that assumption.

I read your comment above about tuesdaysgone's fic, and I agree. I can't wait to see what she does with the third one. That said, have you read "James Cameron Got It Wrong"? I thought that one was really nicely done, as well.

[koncupiscence.livejournal.com]

no, you're right, that's what grant morrison implied to a fan - that this video would be the jedi to sing's empire. that's... promising, right? i hope?

there's info and artwork here for 'only hope' - granted, it could be just a uk thing? sometimes that happens. idk, I GUESS WE'LL FIND OUT SOON. :| eeep.

isn't her fic soooooo gooooood? ugh ugh ♥. and thanks for the rec, i have not read that one!